Hi Cleo, nice to see you here! Brave to post a mix you know is not yet up to your standard. Good for you to put yourself out there like that! Best way to learn :)

I feel that the main vox is too loud and especially the snare lacks impact. Seems that there is a lot happening in the 100 - 500 hz range which could stand cleaning up a little.

Hey Cleo, I like your version! I noticed the points you mentioned, especially the vocals (a bit boxy) and in general the mix seems a bit crowded, for me.. ;P

Hey @Cleo Simons, It sounds to me that vocals have some saturation on them or some processing like that. Do you have a bunch of plugins on it? If that's true, try using one channel strip on it. Something like an SSL G series. That'll help a lot to get you moving forward faster in the mix process.

Hey Cleo, mix sounds pretty good, so if this is something you aren't too happy with, be aware that you can still get great results which is a nice skill to have. I think the lead vocal is a bit too loud, sounds a bit detached from everything else, could probably go back 2-3dB and that's all it needs. Small nitpick, the flute has an annoying whistle frequency on it, can't remember the range but I swear it was from like 2-6K. I think I boosted in that area to get some clarity out of it but then noticed that annoying whistle, so I did the old boost an area then cut around it trick. Great job!

Impressed :)